


Clarity

by shineefiction



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22314235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shineefiction/pseuds/shineefiction
Summary: MInho goes on as normal after confessing his love for Kibum, but now every move he makes that used to go unnoticed carries with it so much meaning. With each passing day, Kibum feels like he could finally fall for his best friend too, but could he really?Sequel to Brave.
Relationships: Choi Minho/Kim Kibum | Key
Comments: 14
Kudos: 27





	1. New Eyes

It felt weird having this hanging between them. He could almost hear Minho breathing on the other side of the wall. And if he was being honest with himself, he really wanted to get up, knock on his door, and ask him more questions. It was next to impossible to fall asleep knowing that there could be so much to talk about.

To say that Kibum was surprised would be an understatement. There were so many memories replaying in his head about the years and years that they've spent together. Looking back, there were moments with Minho that the older man could recall as kind of strange and suddenly everything made sense.

_"What's this?"_

_"Everyone else has schedules tonight," Minho says. "I just thought that we could have dinner together."_

_Kibum puts his bag down on the couch as he eyed the younger man suspiciously. Just this morning they were fighting over the way the trash bags were tied, and suddenly there is a warm dinner waiting for him. It was beyond weird._

_"I'm sorry about losing my temper this morning. Are you hungry? Look," the younger man says, lifting up the lid of one of the serving pots. "It's pasta."_

_The older man stays rooted near the couch, almost not believing what was happening in front of him. His favorite meal with his favorite drink after a long day from the one person that he least expected? This was almost too good to be true._

_"I didn't poison it, I swear," Minho says, being able to read the older's body language. "If you don't eat it now, it's going to get cold and you hate cold pasta."_

_He couldn't argue with that._

_Kibum walks slowly towards the table as his eyes dart over the place setting. The table was gorgeous. There were lilies as the centerpiece and it was carefully laid out with dinnerware that he had never seen before. He looks up at Minho with a confused look on his face, almost as if to ask him if he was being serious._

_"I told you I was sorry," the young man says. "Sit down. You're making me anxious."_

_They both take seats opposite one another and prepare to dig in. Kibum didn't want to admit it but the food looked really good, and it could not have come at a better time. He was starving after that variety show taping._

_There was something different about Minho tonight, though. Kibum leans his head to the side, trying to figure out what it was._

_"You had a haircut," the older man says, reaching for the pasta. It smelled really good and he wanted to take a bite so bad. Restraining himself from showing Minho how excited he was to eat was a task all on its own._

_The younger man ruffles his hair and looks down in embarrassment. "Uh, yeah... They made me cut it. I feel like it's too short, though. I guess it's going to take a little getting used to."_

_Kibum twirls the pasta on his fork, zeroed in on getting the perfect portion. He shrugs his shoulders in acknowledgment of the young man. "Really? They did? Yeah, it's different. But it suits you. You look good."_

_The older man did not see it, but Minho's face turns crimson quicker than Kibum slurped the pasta into his mouth. "You really think so?"_

_Kibum rolls his eyes at the question. "You know you always look good. It's our job to look good. Jinki always looks good, Jonghyun always looks good... And Taemin... Well, it's harder for him and that face of his, but he tries. I always look good too. It's all just facts, Minho."_

_"Right," the young man says, reaching for the pasta himself. "You're right. You're handsome even when you don't mean to be. Not to say that handsome is the only thing you are. You're also intelligent, creative, and talented... Strong-willed and determined... Obviously."_

_"Yeah... Obviously," the older man replies weakly. Kibum was never one to shy away from a love fest but it felt weird coming from Minho._

_As time passed, Kibum was able to pick up on little things that told him that this was no spur-of-the-moment dinner. Minho had prepared really well for tonight. He was wearing some of his best clothes--not the ones that stylist Noonas fix up for them... The stuff he really owns. And Kibum knows that the company didn't really care about their hair unless they were preparing for a comeback. Minho had always liked it when his hair was a bit on the longer side, and every member knew that. So, the haircut was strange. Even the fact that he cooked something, let alone something that Kibum liked, was even stranger. He recognized the dinnerware from Taeyeon and the girls' dorm and that means he actually borrowed plates from other people to make a decent setting. And where did the flowers come from? Strange. Really strange._

_At second glance, you could see beads of sweat dripping down the sides of Minho's face, even if the air conditioner was on. The younger man was being extremely fidgety and could not stop wiping his hands on his thighs, as if they were sweating too. He couldn't even look Kibum in the eye for more than two seconds. Something was definitely off._

_"Just tell me already."_

_"H-huh? T-tell you?" Minho asks as he drops his fork on his plate in shock. "What do you mean, tell you? I have nothing to tell you... Tell you what?"_

_"Whatever it is you're buttering me up for. Did you ruin one of my shirts again because of your never-ending quest for the best fabric softener? Or did you scratch one of my good pans? Oh, crap, you didn't knock over any of my skincare, did you? Please don't tell me you did. Even if this pasta is really good, you're gonna have to buy me a new one--that's the rule. The dorm has rules for a reason. Don't try and bribe me with a meal."_

_Kibum looks at him closely, but Minho was totally and completely frozen in place. He seemed scared stiff by something, and Kibum's heart got soft at the thought that Minho might be scared of him._

_"Oh my God, fine. Okay, Minho. Whatever it is that got ruined, it's fine. Just buy me something I like and I won't get mad. I'll text you the exact thing I want. Get it for me and we'll call it even."_

_"Huh? No... No, nothing like that... It's nothing like that," Minho says, a wave of relief coming over his face. "I mean... I just... No, nothing. It's nothing. Never mind. There's nothing."_

_"No? Really? Nothing?" Kibum says, bringing another fork-full of pasta to his mouth. "It seemed like you were getting ready to tell me something. Are you sure?"_

_"Y-yeah..." Minho replies, smiling at the way the older man's mouth was filling up with food. He looked completely cute with his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth puckered up like a blowfish. "I just wanted to have dinner with you. I like seeing you eat."_

_Kibum eyes him from the corner of his eye, not really convinced but the look on Minho's face persuades him to let it go. "Fine. I'm not the type to get upset over a free meal. But you have to teach me how to make this. It's annoying how good it is."_

"He never ate anything," Kibum recalls, whispering to himself in the dark. "The entire time, he didn't eat anything. Oh my God... He wanted to tell me then."

How could have been so dense for all of these years? Of course, Minho loved him. He already tried so many times to say so.

Kibum drifted off to sleep that night with a smile on his face, feeling completely safe by the thought that he was loved.

*****

Being up at the crack of dawn wasn't something that he usually did but it was next to impossible to fall asleep after that confession. Minho's heart hadn't stopped racing ever since Kibum knocked at his door. It wasn't just his heart though... His mind was hard at work, too. What did Kibum mean when he said all those things? Did he have hope? Should he even be thinking this way? Even though he was afraid of the answer, he was willing to find out. 

No one else is awake yet but he is grateful to be up and do something with his hands. He was pretty sure that these scrambled eggs weren't going to taste good. Cooking should never be done in the state he was in. But he really didn't have anything else to do. Minho furiously mixes the eggs in the pan--the unfortunate receiver of his mounting anxiety.

"Good morning," Kibum says, his voice cutting through the silence. Minho freezes as he watches the older man stumble out onto the hallway in his pajamas. 

Kibum usually hates it when someone other than him is moving around in the kitchen but considering what happened last night, he decides to just let it slide. He walks to the refrigerator to get some water before heading over to sit on one of the stools.

"Good morning, Kibum..."

Kibum groans as he massages his neck with his hand, having slept on it the wrong way. He hoped that the pain wouldn't haunt him the whole day. He dreaded the thought of having to suffer through the day's schedules in this kind of pain. 

The younger man can't help but let his eyes drift to Kibum seated in front of him, stretching his neck with his eyes closed and breathing deeply. The way that the older man stretched his neck out and pursed his lips mesmerized the younger. Minho sighs as the scene in front of him makes his heart skip a beat. He was used to it though. There's not much of a difference; today was just another day of pining for Kibum... Only this time, they both knew it.

Minho takes a plate and puts in front of Kibum, wordlessly setting on it his less-than-perfect scrambled eggs and some pieces of sausage. 

The clink of the dinnerware makes Kibum snap his eyes open and was surprised to see that Minho had prepared the exact thing that he had been craving for. "Thanks," he says. The older man stares down at his plate, for the first time taking notice of what had been just done for him, first thing in the morning at that. 

He never used to think about it, but now it couldn't help but weigh on his mind. How did Minho know that he had been thinking of this exact meal since he opened his eyes? He grabs a fork and takes a tentative bite out of the eggs. 

"Did you sleep well?" Minho says, taken aback by his own question. This was something that he wondered about every day but never had to courage to outrightly ask Kibum about. No harm done now. There was no reason for him to pretend anymore now that Kibum knew how he felt.

"Huh?" the older man replies. 

"Your neck," Minho responds, pointing at Kibum's neck. "It's bothering you, isn't it?"

"Oh... Yeah... I must have slept on it the wrong way."

"Sleeping on your stomach does that sometimes," Minho says, going to the refrigerator and fetching something from the freezer door. "Here. This will help. I'll pack some to take with us too so you can use them in the van--"

"How did you know I slept on my stomach?"

"You always do, especially when you've had a tiring day... You told me once that it was the way your family let you sleep when you were a kid. I know it comforts you at the end of the day," Minho replies, being too shy to even look up from the kitchen counter.

It amazed Kibum how he could have possibly remembered such a small detail about him--especially since he didn't even remember bringing it up anyway. But he was right; Minho was absolutely right. 

From the look of things, there wasn't much that was going to change between them. He knew that Minho didn't want to disturb Kibum's way of life by being too showy of his emotions, even if it was already out in the open. He was too good of a guy to push his feelings on Kibum that way. If the older man didn't do anything now, this was all they were going to have--early morning breakfasts and ice packs. But the truth was, Kibum was really interested in seeing if there could be something beyond just this. It became clear that he would have to let Minho know that he wanted things to change. 

"Sit down," Kibum says as he brings the ice pack up to his neck. "Eat with me."

Minho's heart starts to beat a little faster at the invitation. He prepares a serving for himself and sits on one of the bar stools beside Kibum. There was nothing else the younger man wanted to look at except for the food on his plate but he could feel Kibum staring at him intently.

"So that's it? You're just going to pretend as if nothing happened?"

"No..." Minho says, his voice barely audible. He stuffs his mouth full of food in hopes that Kibum would leave him alone, even if just for a few seconds. After years of hiding what he felt, he really wasn't prepared to talk so candidly about it so soon. 

"Well? Aren't you even going to ask me out?"

If he was nervous before, his brain was now in an all-out panic. He coughs as he tries to swallow the food in his mouth without even chewing it properly. "What?"

"Unless I was hallucinating, you confessed your love to me, didn't you? Don't you want to take me out on a proper date?"

"Do you want me to?" Minho asks shyly, a lump in his throat forming. This was turning out to possibly be the happiest day of his life. 

"Just ask."

It isn't lost on Minho that this is the only real shot that he is probably going to get. In all those years, he has never had an opening as wide as this one. He psyches himself up as reminds himself that he had been waiting for this moment for so long and knew exactly what to say. Minho takes a deep breath and turns to finally look at Kibum for the first time that morning. 

"Okay... Kibum... I've had a lot of time to think about this and there's this place that I've been dreaming of taking you... Would you like to go out with me sometime?" 

The look in Minho's eyes grabbed Kibum's attention. He had never seen this side of the young man before. He was assertive and confident. He seemed determined but gentle at the same time. It surprised him but Kibum suddenly felt a dozen butterflies starting to rise up from his stomach. He was starting to see his friend with new eyes.

"I thought you would never ask."


	2. Suspicious

It was another busy day for the five of them, and they were already running a few minutes behind. Jinki was always the one who made sure that they would be down at the car all together, and it was just one of those days that he was failing miserably. Jonghyun was running around, putting various things in his backpack and Taemin wasn't even out of the shower yet. At least Kibum and Minho were good to go... But even then, something about them didn't feel right to Jinki. He felt it in his gut. And he was usually right about these things. 

The eldest walks calmly towards Kibum, who was making sure that his bottle of water wasn't leaking. He’d hate to ruin another designer bag because of a leaky container, like what happened the last time they headed out. 

"Hey. What's going on with you and Minho? Please don't tell me you're in the middle of some weird fight again," Jinki says.

The younger had to pretend that his heart fell to his stomach when Jinki asked him that. It was uncanny how well their leader was able to sense when something was the tiniest bit different. Kibum knew that he had to do a good job selling that they were fine if he wanted to keep this from the members. And he did want to keep it a secret for now - that's for sure.

He shrugs, careful not to give even the slightest hint that the inquiry fazed him. "We're good. Why?"

"It’s just that I haven’t seen you two say a word to each other all morning," the elder says, observing Kibum that much more carefully. Apart from being a keen observer, he also knew when he was being lied to. 

"We were talking a lot when you guys were still asleep," Kibum replied. "Don't worry, Hyung. We're good."

"You already said that."

Somehow, Jinki wasn't all that convinced but he had no choice other than to let it go for now. Honestly, Kibum was so happy that they were already running late, so Jinki could get off his back about the whole thing. Even if he wasn't completely satisfied, the leader turned his attention to more pressing matters, like how Taemin was taking his sweet time. The youngest waddles into the kitchen clad only with a towel around his waist, sniffing around for something to eat.

"How can you not be dressed yet, Taem?" Jinki asks.

"I will be! You know I can move fast. I'm just really hungry, Hyung. My tummy won't stop growling," he pouts, looking sadly at his annoyingly toned stomach. 

“There isn’t any food left. You woke up too late,” the leader says, his tone growing more pointed.

Kibum holds up a paper bag with a deadpan face. The kid always liked to sleep in. Complaints about his growling tummy was bound to happen. "Sandwich. Fruit slices. Banana Milk.”

"Thanks Hyung!" Taemin says, lunging to take the bag out of his hands, but Kibum hid it away behind him so fast.

"Get dressed. You can eat in the car," he says, gaining an approving look from Jinki who was watching the entire thing.

The young man whines a bit and stomps his feet, turning to their Hyung-nim who usually let him have his way. "Hyunnnngggg... I’m hungryyyyy…"

He hated to admit it, but if were any other day, he would have overruled Kibum and let Taemin eat first but they really were running late. "Kibum said get dressed. You can eat later."

Taemin walks away huffing, spilling droplets of water all over the floor that Jonghyun almost slips on as he zips to and fro.

“Aish, Taeminnie,” he says, as he regains his balance. “I swear, sometimes I wanna ring his neck.”

“Maybe worry about yourself before Taemin,” Jinki says, eyeing the many bags that he had with him. “You DO know we’re heading to a photoshoot, right? Not to another country?”

Jonghyun blushes as he looks down at his loot. “Sorry… I won’t make you guys carry any of this, I swear! I’ve been busy with making samples of my songs and I just wanted to bring my equipment in case… You know how much down time we get during shoots when it’s not our turn. Might as well be productive.”

“Cool,” Kibum says, smoothing out his hair with his fingers. “You’re really going for it this time, huh? Good luck, Hyung. I hope I can hear it when it’s done.”

“Thanks!” Jonghyun exclaims. “And sure, I’ll share it with you. Actually, why don’t you sing on one of the tracks?? We wouldn’t need to go to the studio or anything, just my room.”

Minho came in just in time to hear this exchange and he didn’t even need to hear the entire conversation to get jealous. He does his best not to let a frown show on his face, but he was really bothered by Jonghyun’s invitation to Key. His only hope was that Key would shoot it down.

“Really?? Sure, Hyung! That would be fun,” Kibum says, his eyes lighting up at the opportunity.

“Great!” Jonghyun says, a big smile on his face. “What about you, Minho? I was hoping I’d get to pick your brain. I feel like some of the lyrics are missing something? What do you say?”

He was pleasantly surprised that he was asked to join in. Minho beams as his jealousy dissipates.

“Of course, Hyung. I’d love to help,” he says, smiling sweetly.

From the corner of his eye he notices that Kibum staring closely at him. Usually, when the older watched him this carefully, it was because he was trying to find something wrong. But there was a look of admiration in his eye. Kibum never looked at him like that before. Minho tries calm his heart down, not wanting for a blush to form on his cheeks.

“Help with what? Can I help too?” Taemin asks, finally showing up ready to go.

“Thank God,” Jinki says, going to the living room to get his things off the couch. “Hurry up, let’s go, Hyung is waiting downstairs.”

They all start moving as Jonghyun catches Taemin up on what he told everyone else. As usual, Minho does his task with being the last to leave. It was pretty standard: Make sure they were all out the door, check to see if they left anything behind, lock the doors. He had done it a million times. But never had Kibum hung back to wait for him.

He just stood there quietly, waiting.

“Is everything ok? Did you forget something?”

“No,” Kibum replies. “I just wanted us to walk together.”

It seemed like he had made an impression on Kibum, and he was overwhelmed. Minho opens his mouth to say just what was on his mind when Taemin bellows from the middle of the hall.

“Elevator’s here, Hyungs! Hurry!”

The five boys pile inside, each one psyching themselves up for another full day of work. With all of Jonghyun’s bags with them, it was a tight squeeze today. Minho crammed himself into the corner just to give everyone else more space, when he suddenly felt something grazing his hand.

He looks over to find Kibum’s pinky gently moving his hand against Minho’s. In his shock and confusion, he shoots the older man a curious look, but he was met with nothing but a deadpan look on his face. The older man’s eyes were trained directly towards the elevator panel, watching the numbers decrease like it was the most important thing in the world. Minho decided to look there as well, trying his best not to freak out. He mouths the numbers on the screen as it flashed.

The ding of their stop plus the doors opening jolted him back into reality. All at once, the boys headed out and were entirely focused on what they had to do for the day.

“Oh crap,” Jonghyun says. “He looks mad.”

Jinki sighs and moves faster. “Hurry.”

It was early but Heechul already had a scowl on his face. He hated when the boys were late because it was him that was going to get an earful from the other managers. Their companion’s chin-length hair was blowing in the breeze as he popped the gum in his mouth. The fact that he was leaning against the van was a sure sign that he was upset, and Jinki scurries towards him.

“Sorry, Heechul Hyung,” he says, bowing. The rest of the group follow his lead and mumble their own apologies to their favorite staff member. “It’s my fault for not waking them up on time.

Heechul smirks. “Boys, I really think Jinki should stop taking the fall for these things. The poor guy. It’s not his fault if someone keeps having a hard time getting up from bed… Right, Taeminnie?”

The youngest member’s chin almost digs into his chest as he bows his head in shame. “Yes, Hyung.”

“I’m just kidding,” he smiles, nudging Taemin’s shoulder. “Of course, kids need sleep! Why do they keep making call times so early anyway? Get in, everyone. My phone’s been blowing up. I’ll try to make up lost time on the road.” 

Heechul walks around their luxury van to get into the driver’s seat and start the engine. Taemin and Jonghyun take everyone’s stuff to throw in the back, as the rest of them figured out the best way to get in their usual spots.

"Are you sitting in front again?" Kibum asks.

Minho nods his head. Everyone knew he preferred sitting in the passenger's seat. He always said that there was more legroom for him in front, but in truth, it was really so that he could keep his eyes forward and not stare at Kibum. It was one of the many ways that he had learned to quiet his heart over the years. 

"Can we sit together today?" Kibum asks. 

Minho's breath catches in his throat. At that moment, there was nothing that he wanted more. He didn’t have to be asked twice.

"Okay," he says, quietly filing into the back of the van.

Kibum followed him inside, trying hard not to pay any mind to Jinki who was watching both of them closely from the corner of his eye.

The two settled down beside each other at the back as the rest of the members piled in. 

Neither of them liked the way Jinki was looking at them. There was an expression on his face that they couldn’t quite put their finger on – like he was suspicious. Very suspicious. The fact that they really did have something to hide wasn’t helping them calm their nerves at all.

"Hey!" Jonghyun says as he gets in and sees Minho. "Nice of you to finally join us normal folk back here."

Taemin smiles brightly when he sees Minho as well, pleasantly surprised at the change. Except for Heechul.

“Hey!” He says, looking toward the back seat with a fake pout on his face. “You’re really going to leave me up here all alone today? I thought we were buddies, Minho!”

“Sorry, Hyung! Just for today, okay?” Minho says, his bright smile beaming through the whole van.

Kibum tries not to react at what the younger man had just said. Just for today? He was kind of hoping that sitting together could be a more common occurrence. He glances at Minho who gives him a quick wink. And just like that, they were on the same page again.

The van moves forward and they try to get comfortable for the three-hour drive ahead of them. 

Taemin immediately tears into Kibum’s packed breakfast and devours the food with passion. Jonghyun was already fluffing up his well-worn neck pillow and pulling his earphones out of his bag. 

As usual, Jinki goes through the notes left for them by their staff before leaving them to do their own thing. "When we get there, the first one up is Taemin so the rest of us will have more time to get ready. Taeminnie, head straight inside okay? You only have thirty minutes for hair and make-up so we’ll need you to keep the entire shoot on schedule."

"Of course, Jinki Hyung," Taemin says, talking through a mouth full of food.

"We're supposed to be done in the early afternoon, but we have to record a video message for the tour before we head back… That should be quick… And after that… Nothing. We have the rest of the evening off."

"Yes, finally," Jonghyun says. "I haven't had a night off in a month. I’m going to arrange my music all night, so no one disturb me please."

Taemin turns around to the two seated at the back with his wide brown eyes. "What about you, Hyungs? What are you going to do?"

"I have plans," Kibum says, not lifting his eyes up from his phone. He knew why Taemin was asking. He wasn't about to let their first date be ruined by a third-wheel. Minho, on the other hand, was a bit more clueless than Kibum had thought.

"I might go out... Just blow off some steam," he answers the younger man, flashing him a nice smile.

"Oooh, can I come? I want to go out too," Taemin says. The slurp from his empty pack of banana milk echoed through the van. 

"I don't know, Taeminnie. I was kind of hoping to have some time for myself for a change," Minho responds. 

"C'mon, Hyung... 

Jinki was growing quite impatient with the exchange. He knew that the other guys didn’t take to well to Taemin’s charms. "Don't force him if he doesn't want company, Taem. If you really want to go out, then let's get a bite to eat. My treat."

The young man bounces in his seat, elated that someone finally paid him any attention. He contentedly leans back into his seat. "Really? Thanks, Hyung!" 

The two throw each other such relieved looks. For a minute there, they both thought that their first date would be ambushed. It was nice to know that they had something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Minho puts his sunglasses on and leans back into his chair. Travelling long distances was his favorite way to catch up on sleep. And now that Kibum wanted him by his side, he was sure that this would be his best nap in a while.

The older man, on the other hand, was doing his best not to get flustered. Having Minho so close to him and looking so handsome was difficult. Clearing his throat, he dives deeper into scrolling through his social media feed, as if anything else could actually distract him.

But Jinki, though.

The eldest among them kept stealing glances at the two. Between his sudden hawk-eyes and his early morning interrogation, Kibum knew that they would have to do better at being discrete about this whole thing.


	3. Date

The shoot was busy, as usual. Almost a hundred people were around to make sure that everything went smoothly. Minho worked hard at being warm and friendly, but the truth was being around this many people always managed to stress him out in some way. It didn't stop him from trying though - especially since this was a big part of their job. He figured that if the clients had that much confidence in them being able to sell their product, a few hellos wouldn't hurt. He grits his teeth and did what was expected of him, even if his mind was somewhere else.

Actually, his mind was at two places at once. Jinki was giving him such weird vibes. The whole morning was filled with side glances and the elder dropping in to check on him multiple times. When Jinki was like this, he knew that he was being observed for something. Minho decided that he had to be more careful about showing affection to Kibum.

The other half of his mind was where it always was.

It was hard not to stare, especially when Kibum was dolled up like this. Minho knew that he had to restrain himself from watching the elder’s solo shoot when just the thought of it was making his heart race so fast. The way he looked at the camera and moved with ease always made him go crazy. It was safer to bury his head in a book than to risk being called out by Jinki.

Even when they’re in the van on the way back, the remnants of his makeup made him look more gorgeous than he usually was. Minho was sweet-talked into sitting at the back with the rest of the team again. He wondered if this was going to be a regular thing. It was disarming to turn his head and see Kibum so close to him. He had to get used to this.

“I know you guys aren’t going to pay any attention to me when we get back, so I might as well say it now: Don’t forget to pack your stuff up for Japan. We’re leaving in a couple of days,” Jinki says, already annoyed by the amount of nagging he would have to do in the coming days. “I’d hate to have to help anyone pack last minute…”

All heads turn to Taemin, with the young man feigning surprise at his Hyungs. “Okay, okay… I’ll start packing when we get back.”

“And pack light!” Heechul says from behind the steering wheel. “Jonghyun, I know you want to get some songs done, but I’m not sure that taking your entire studio with you is the only way to do that.”

The songwriter pouts at being called out. “Fine. I’ll take the bare minimum.”

“I’m so excited for Japan,” Taemin says, bouncing in his seat. “I’m going to go around this time. I don’t know how, but I will!”

“Go around? When did we ever have time to go around,” Kibum says, dismissively.

“Actually, Leeteuk Hyung mentioned it the other day. Don’t get your hopes up, but I think management will give us a day for ourselves while we’re there. I really hope they will. We’ve been working so hard… We deserve a bit of time off,” Jinki replies.

“Really?” Minho says, sitting up immediately at the news. “Will we really get to see Japan this time?”

“Ah, you kids break my heart,” Heechul says. “Yes, you’re going to get time for yourselves in Japan.”

“NO WAY!!” Taemin exclaims.

“This is awesome!” Jonghyun says. “I’m going to take my cameras with me!”

“Pack light,” Heechul reminds him, shaking his head in amusement.

They pull onto the curb of their dorm, with all the members murmuring about their surprise day off. All of them were happy about it, but none more so than Minho. He quickly imagined how nice it would be to spend a whole day exploring the city with Kibum by his side. Not that he had any idea if the elder would actually want to spend it with him.

They get down from the van with everyone chattering excitedly about what they could do for their anticipated free day. 

“Bye, guys,” Heechul says. “Enjoy your night off! Pick you up tomorrow for rehearsals. Be ready at seven, okay? And I mean SEVEN, Taemin-ah.”

The other four chuckle as their youngest was called out yet again.

“I am a growing boy! I can’t help it if I need to sleep!” He says, annoyed at his Hyungs.

Taemin marches towards their dorm building and heads inside in a huff. They follow suit, as Heechul pulls away. Just like this morning, he hangs back as Kibum falls in step with him. 

“A day to ourselves in Japan, huh?” Kibum whispers, glancing over at Minho. “We can see the finally see the sights together… It sounds like fun. See you later. I have to get ready now.”

The younger bows his head to hide the blush forming on his face. Looks like Kibum wanted to spend time with him after all.

“Later.”

*****

_Since they became old enough to drink, Minho and Kibum liked to stay up at night and talk over a bottle or two… Or six. It was the best alternative to going out to a bar and potentially having their reputations tarnished._

_Kibum always enjoyed the time they spent together this way. Although, Minho never drank much himself. It was too risky. He didn’t want to lose control and do something that would give away his most guarded secret. He became so good at faking, though. The elder never suspected that he was the one doing most of the drinking for them._

_“You know what? How come I never see you date anyone?” Kibum asks, a pale pink starting to spread all over his face. He always had that flush when he had a bit too much to drink. “The streets are lined up with people who want to go out with you. What’s the deal?”_

_Minho looks up at the ceiling and sighs. Questions like this were always tricky to answer – especially when it was Kibum doing the asking._

_“I just don’t like wasting my time, that’s all.”_

_The elder scoffs and takes another swig from his beer. “You think dating is a waste of time?”_

_“It can be, yeah… If you already know what you want, what’s the point of looking around?”_

_Minho’s heart starts to pound at the direction of this conversation. Another opportunity to bear his heart presented itself and he even though he already knew he was too weak to take it, the possibility still made him nervous._

_“I mean,” he continues, before Kibum has time to assume anything. “We’re so busy. Our careers are our priority. I guess love will just come one day.”_

_“I don’t believe that,” Kibum says, scrunching his face in the adorable way he does when he dislikes something. “Good things just don’t fall on our laps. We have to go after it. Pursue it.”_

_The younger shrugs his shoulders, not sure what to say next. He decides that this was a good time to take another small sip of beer. It was a good thing Kibum hadn’t noticed that he had been nursing the same bottle for the past hour._

_“So, Minho, IF you find someone that’s interesting enough to make you want to forget all this,” he says, waving his hand to gesture towards their dorm and their trophies. “What would you do? What kind of date would you take them out to?”_

_“It depends, I guess,” Minho replied. “Depends on the person I’m taking out.”_

_“What if it were me?” Kibum says, innocently. The elder immediately notices the shock the came across Minho’s face. “No, no… Of course, I don’t mean it like THAT. I just wanna know how you would plan a date. C’mon. Humor me.”_

_“For you?” he asks, pretending to struggle with the question. Of course, he knew exactly what to do. He had thought about it countless times before and was convinced that he had the perfect night planned should the chance arise._

_“Maybe we could go see a show… I know you like plays and stuff. Then we could have a late dinner at that restaurant that’s on the top floor of that hotel? The one overlooking the city? That’s where I’d probably take you.”_

_Kibum scrunches his face once again and Minho’s heart falls to the pit of his stomach. “Nice try… But too fancy. Way too fancy.”_

_“… Really?”_

_“You know what a perfect date is? Just a simple restaurant with no crowd, and the best food ever. There’s this place a couple of blocks from our dorm… Almost no one knows about it, so it’s not packed but the food is to die for,” Kibum says, his eyes sparkling as he talked. “Minho, when you go out with someone, you don’t need to do too much to impress them. The fact that they’re out with you in the first place is already a good sign. Just get to know the person more. Good food and intimate conversation… That’s all you really need, right?”_

_Minho smiles, as heart flutters invade his chest. Even after all these years, Kibum never fails to surprise him. He makes a mental note of what the elder said, just in case. “Right… You’re right. That sounds delightful.”_

*****

Minho’s heart was beating a million times a minute. He couldn’t believe that the moment he had imagined so many times before was finally happening. This was, hands-down, the happiest day of his life, and the date hadn’t even begun yet.

He glances at his watch and then back at the restaurant door for the nth time. It was a nervous habit developing, but the actions calmed him down. The anticipation of it all was almost overwhelming.

Finally, he sees the object of his affection walking through the glass doors. If he thought to see Kibum glammed-up for stages and appearances was hard, there was no way he could have prepared for how handsome he looked right now.

“Hey,” Kibum says, leaning in to give Minho a hug. “Sorry, I’m late. There was just—”

“It’s okay,” Minho says reassuringly. “I know how much you love choosing what to wear. I don’t mind. You’re always worth the wait.”

It was just the start of the evening and already Kibum’s heart started to pound. That was the sweetest compliment that he ever gotten in his whole life.

“I need to get used to this,” Kibum says, fidgeting in his seat.

“Get used to what?”

“You being so attentive,” the elder replies. “I mean, you’ve always been attentive. I just always assumed that you were that way with everyone. I didn’t think it meant anything special.”

“Of course, it does,” Minho says. “It always has.”

Kibum smiles shyly. It was nice to have someone look after him the way Minho does.

They place their orders and the younger smirks at the way Kibum carefully relays exactly what he wants to the wait staff. This was always one of Minho’s favorite things about him. Kibum was never scared to be himself, to say what he wants and not apologize for it. He was so confident that there was no hesitation to voice out anything, even in the little things, like how he wants his salad. (“Please don’t chop the lettuce. Just iceberg, if you have it. No arugula. Dressing and cheese on the side.”)

As the server leaves, they were suddenly free to lavish attention on one another. Having Kibum to himself like this felt like the best dream.

“I’m so glad Jinki Hyung got Taemin off our backs,” Kibum says. “He was this close to third-wheeling, that kid.”

“Yeah,” Minho says, taking a sip of water. “That was a close call.”

“Imagine having someone else intruding on our first date.”

The younger coughs loudly, choking on the water going down his throat.

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry,” he says, embarrassed and struggling for the right words to say. “I just… Hearing you say that… It’s… I’m happy to be here with you.”

“Me too,” Kibum replies, smiling. He sighs as he looks around at the restaurant contentedly. The ambiance was cozy and private. It was perfect. “I really, really love this place.”

“I know,” Minho replies, shyly. “Good food and intimate conversation… Right?”

The elder is rendered speechless. The memory of that one conversation they had years ago sprung to mind. He couldn’t believe that Minho remembered after all this time. When he said that his being attentive to Kibum was special, he must have meant it.


	4. An Ally

To say that everything went well was an understatement.

It was one of those dates where neither of them looked at their watches or their phones unless it was to take a picture. They talked about so many things. Minho missed having the chance to chat with Kibum this way: without issues and without distractions. Their obnoxious laughter filled the restaurant until the time that they needed to go. It was pure bliss. 

It was such a shame that they had to head home so soon, but Minho knew how Kibum liked to unwind by himself at the end of the night. They agreed that Minho would go up first, so that that it wouldn’t be too obvious that they were together. Turning the key, he was surprised to see that everyone was already home, playing games in front of the television. He had to hand it to Kibum. It was a good call to come up separately.

No one paid much attention to him when he arrived, and he took the opportunity to get to his favorite place in the dorm. Whenever something important happened to him, Minho liked to spend time out on the balcony. Since anyone hardly ever went there, it was his special place. The members pretty much knew to leave him alone once he steps foot there or suffer the consequences.

The night was quiet and breezy… The stars were shining brightly just for him. He used to sit here for hours, scolding himself for thinking of Kibum. This time, it was vastly different. There was no reason to scold himself anymore.

Spending time with Kibum in that way was different, but it seemed natural. Maybe it was because they already knew each other so well that they didn’t have to spend the first hour telling each other mundane details about themselves, like with other people. It was the best date that he ever had – even if there were a few snags along the way.

_Kibum heaves a small sigh and gathers enough courage to ask what he had been meaning to. “Have you noticed something off about Jinki Hyung? I felt like he watched me like a hawk the whole day.”_

_Minho nods his head in reply. “He must have checked up on me twenty times during the shoot. And the glares I got from him even when I was on my way out… To be honest, it was starting to get annoying. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”_

_Kibum plays with the pasta on his fork, suddenly distracted from consuming the food on his plate. “Do you think that it’s about… This?”_

_“You mean just because we sat together in the van today? I don’t think so.”_

_“Not just that,” Kibum says, looking down at his food. “At breakfast, he also asked me if we were fighting… Plus all the checking up on us, just us two. He didn’t seem to be on Jonghyun or Taemin’s case… Don’t you think that he’s being weird? Maybe he noticed.”_

_“Oh,” Minho says, almost apologetically. He really didn’t know what else to say._

_The younger’s heart falls to his stomach when he realizes that Kibum could be totally put off by the thought of sneaking behind everyone’s backs. This was one of the things he worried about. He just didn’t think that this would come up this early on._

_He watches carefully as Kibum turns serious, his eyebrows furrowing slightly._

_“Do you want to go back to how things were? We can forget this whole thing if it’s making you uncomfortable,” Minho says, the words piercing his heart almost as soon as it left his lips. He didn’t want to go back if it were up to him. True, it took years to get to this point, but it was never about him. Kibum’s happiness has always been his focus._

_“We just have to start being more careful, I guess,” the elder finally replies, faintly, as he reaches over to take a sip of his drink._

_Minho stares at him in shock, trying to confirm if he was understanding it correctly._

_“What?” Kibum asks. “We don’t have to give up too much just because he’s watching us more closely, right? Being careful is the best thing to do for now.”_

_The younger nods his head again in reply. He wasn’t about to say anything else to risk Kibum changing his mind. Minho smiles at his plate, shifting the vegetables of his salad around._

_“Next time, I’m ordering for you,” the elder says, sighing as he looked at Minho’s plate. “You’re in such a great place and all you ordered is a salad. You should give yourself a break from dieting once in a while.”_

_He looks up just in time to see Kibum tear his eyes away from him and focus his attention on his own food. The first two words from him gave Minho all the hope he needed._

“Next time,” Minho whispers to himself. Just as a smile was about to spread across his face, the sliding glass doors creak open.

"Ahh, the breeze is so nice!" Jinki says, slipping out onto the balcony with Minho. He stretches his arms upward and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. The leader takes his place beside Minho and leans on the railing close to him. “I should really come out here more often.”

The younger man smiles weakly, not really wanting the intrusion into his time alone. Every fiber in his being wanted to scream at the older man to let him be but considering how closely he was being watched by this person, that probably wasn’t a good idea.

“Hi, Hyung,” he says, in resignation. “Yeah, it’s nice out here.”

A long silence follows.

It wasn’t that silence between them was awkward. Their friendship was already way past things like that. But he could feel that something was up. He wanted to bolt out of there as fast as he could, but the older beat him to it.

"I know," Jinki says, his voice dropping low. "I've known for a while."

"Know what, Hyung?" Minho asks, feigning innocence, ignoring how his heart began to pound violently in his chest. 

“Sometimes I think that I should have talked to you about it sooner, but the truth is I never really knew how to. I guess it’s best to just blurt these things out.”

Jinki’s smile was warm and welcoming, and it didn’t at all feel like he was in trouble for anything. The younger wonders if this was a trap and decides to keep his mouth shut. His doe eyes blankly stare at his leader, his brain going through the million excuses he had stored away for such a time as this. But nothing was coming to him fast enough.

“It’s okay,” the elder says. “There’s nothing to be scared about. I’m just here to talk to my friend.”

“Hyung,” Minho says, smirking. He tries to pull out all his acting chops to shrug this encounter off. At least Jinki was right about one thing: Minho was completely terrified. “Are you alright? What are you talking about?”

“I don’t mind… About you and Kibum. I don’t mind,” Jinki says, calmly.

It was like a bucket of ice-cold water was dumped on him.

“What about me and Kibum?”

Jinki heaves a sigh and a smile. “I’m glad Kibum’s finally come around to the idea. I was starting to think that this was going to be a one-sided love for a while. I can’t tell you how happy I am that I was wrong. I never liked seeing you so tortured.”

“Hyung…”

His instincts told him to laugh loudly, get angry, deny it all – anything, just have a proper reaction. But he couldn’t muster the energy to do any of that. Minho had been keeping this secret for so long that he didn’t know how else to react to someone confronting him about it.

“You’re not ready to talk about it, huh?” Jinki says, chuckling to himself. “It’s okay… I understand. I just wanted you to know that I’ve got you covered. You’re both safe with me.”

He pats the younger on his shoulder and starts to make his way back into the house.

“You can talk to me anytime you’re ready.”

No other sound was heard except the sliding of the glass doors, indicating that Minho was all alone again. Somehow, the breeze was colder than it was a few minutes ago. He looks down at his palms and sees just how much the encounter had made him sweat. It wasn’t lost on him how scared he truly was… And, for some reason, relieved. He felt completely relieved that someone else knew and that he wasn’t shunned for it.

He looks back into the living room and sees Jinki, Jonghyun and Taemin laughing their heads off about something. The eldest catches his eye and nods at him reassuringly.

Minho turns back to look at the stars and lays his head on the railings. After all these years, the emotions that he had held so tightly were bubbling to the surface. He cries softly, letting the tears roll off his cheeks and smiles.

Finally, he didn’t feel so isolated anymore.

*****

Kibum was the one in the team that valued sleep the most. He didn’t waste much time doing trivial things when he could get some extra time to rest. But for some reason, tonight, he couldn’t get to sleep no matter how hard he tried.

Thoughts of his date with Minho had been replaying in his mind, and he was smiling at his ceiling like an idiot for the past hour.

_“This is new,” Kibum says, as they turn the corner to their dorm. “I’ve never gone home with a date before.”_

_Minho snorts, choking on his own saliva, as he starts to giggle. The elder immediately swats his shoulder with his hand._

_“I mean that we’re both going home to the same house! Because we live together! Damn it,” he says, giving him another swat on the arm for good measure._

_“Hey! Alright, I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it,” he says, rubbing his arm. “I can’t believe you could say that after all the very early mornings you came home from dates with—ow!”_

_“We are NOT talking about that,” Kibum replies, hitting Minho playfully one more time. “You know what I meant.”_

_The younger kept rubbing his arm with a pained face. Kibum rolls his eyes at the show Minho was putting on. There was no way what he did hurt that badly. He looks on as Minho turns around and walks toward the opposite direction._

_“Hey, where are you going?”_

_“To the hospital,” he says, with a pout. “I think you broke my arm.”_

_“Of course, I didn’t,” Kibum replies, refusing to follow him. “Stop messing around and let’s go home.”_

_Minho stops in his tracks and pouts even more. “You’re not even going to check if I’m really hurt?”_

_The elder heaves a sharp sigh and walks over to Minho, who had a stupid smile plastered on his face. He reaches out to touch Minho’s arm and is surprised at how his heart responded to having contact like this. His heart pounded furiously against his chest as he slowly slid his hand up and down Minho’s arm, checking if he was really okay._

_“You’re fine,” Kibum says, clicking his tongue and turning away. He needed to get himself out of this before he did something he shouldn’t._

_“Wait,” Minho says, grabbing Kibum’s wrist and turning him around to face him again. “I still need to go to the hospital.”_

_Kibum’s eyebrows furrow and he starts to get worried. Maybe he really did hurt Minho. “Huh? What’s wrong?”_

_“I need them to make you give back my heart.”_

_“Oh. My. GOD,” Kibum says, shaking Minho’s grip off of him. He rolls his eyes and walks away. He couldn’t get away from the younger fast enough. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”_

_“Wait! Kibum,” Minho says, scrambling after him. “No good, huh? Wait, I have other lines. Wait!”_

“Idiot. And he was doing so well… That stupid line,” he whispers, laughing to himself as he recalls the doe-eyed look Minho gave him.

As irritated as he was, there was really no way that he could hold back his smile. Thinking of how his body came alive when he reached out and touched Minho was enough to keep him up all night. His precious sheets were now wrinkled from all the tossing and turning, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He reaches for his phone and sends a message.

_“Are you awake?”_

_“Yeah... Is everything okay?”_

_“I can’t sleep.”_

_“Oh… Do you feel sick or something? Do you need water or medicine?”_

_“I’m fine… I was just thinking…”_

A few minutes pass by and he was starting to annoy himself with how his eyes were glued to his phone screen. Waiting for a reply like that wasn’t normal for him… But really, what IS normal now?

_“Aren’t you going to ask what I’m thinking about?”_

Kibum’s heart jumps as he hears a knock on his door.

He checks himself in the mirror as soon as he gets up, and frantically flattens his hair with the palm of his hand. There was no way this pillow hair was showing itself to Minho.

The door creaked softly as he opened it, with the one person he wanted to see standing on the other side.

“Okay,” Minho says, smiling softly. “What are you thinking about?”

The elder boy blinks at him, totally stunned at seeing him in front of this door at this hour.

“I brought you some chamomile tea… It helps me sleep sometimes. I thought you might like to try it,” he says, shyly, handing him a spill-safe tumbler. “It’s a bit hot… Be careful.”

Kibum stares, moved by the sweet gesture. “Thank you…”

“You should sleep. I won’t bother you… Good night,” Minho says, as he turns and makes his way back to his room.

He stands there, watching Minho walk away, trying to make a split-second decision between letting him go and saying one more thing. In the end, his heart wins out.

“Uh,” Kibum blurts out. His eyes wander, scared of staring into the younger’s eyes. “Thank you… For tonight. For everything.”

Minho stops in his tracks. It was completely out of character for Kibum to be the first to say something nice to him like this. This was enough to let the younger know that Kibum was sincere in exploring whatever it was they had between them.

“Sweet dreams, Kibum,” he replies, a warm and shy smile on his face.


End file.
